I’ve decided that I really love the holidays, but need to re-define them and create new traditions for a secular holiday. I don’t go in for all the G-word stuff, but definitely love getting together with friends and family in December, because frankly, it’s Canada, and there isn’t much else to do in December here. It’s cold and dark and kinda miserable, so you might as well spend time with loved ones and eat and drink a lot.
Part of re-defining the holidays as secular involves creating new holiday traditions. We’re borrowing a lot from Festivus (feats and strength and airing of the grievances), but we’re also adding a few Davis family traditions, like the spreading of the girth (after over-indulging in a meal or two), and the punking of the parents. It was in honour of the last tradition that I spent part of December 1st at Beechwood cemetery.
You see, a couple of years ago, my parents bought their tombstone, had it engraved and installed it in the military cemetery. They then took a photo of it and hung it in the house and waited for us to notice. We weren’t all that happy about it – it was pretty grim, actually. So this year we decided to retaliate.
Jenn did the legwork – she called up the cemetery and asked where we could find their plot. The woman on the phone didn’t even blink, even when Jenn asked if it would be helpful to know that they weren’t actually dead yet. She replied that it was in fact helpful, and provided her the row number in a very efficient and non-judgemental way.
So after brunch we all piled into Jenn’s car and drove over to the cemetery. Now, I should also note that it was minus 10 out with a windchill of minus 20, so it was no balmy December day. We found their row, and I set up my camera and tripod, and we took a few photos of us visiting the plot.
Then, we printed out the photograph and secretly hung it up in the house, replacing an existing photograph. So now it’s about waiting to see how long it takes the parental units to notice the photo. Then the new secular holiday tradition will be complete with the punking of the parental units.